#219 - Tips For When Your Child's Sensory Preferences Don't Match Yours

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Tips For When Your Child's Sensory Preferences Don't Match Yours

Does your child seek out a certain type of sensory input that drives you nuts? 

Are your sensory preferences the complete opposite of your child’s? 

If so, this episode is for you! 

We dive into sensory preferences, what it looks like when your child’s sensory needs create a sense of overstimulation in you, and some tips, tricks, and strategies to help! 

Links

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Sensational Brain Sensory Preference Checklists 

Tips For When Your Child's Sensory Preferences Don't Match Yours

Every individual, including adults and children, has a unique sensory system. Some people crave sensory input, while others are more sensitive to it. 

When a parent or caregiver has different sensory needs than their child, it can create challenges in daily life. Understanding and addressing these differences is key to fostering a harmonious environment for everyone involved.

Identifying Sensory Preferences

To effectively support your child (and yourself), start by identifying sensory preferences. You and your child might fall into one of these categories:

• Sensory Seekers crave extra movement, touch, sound, or pressure to feel regulated.

• Sensory Avoiders become easily overwhelmed by too much sensory input and may withdraw or react negatively.

• Sensory Modulators fall somewhere in between, needing a balance of sensory input to feel comfortable.

Common Conflicts In Sensory Needs

Here are a few real-life examples of opposite sensory needs:

• A parent who is auditorily sensitive may struggle when their child constantly seeks loud noises, such as banging toys or playing music at high volumes.

• A child who loves tactile input may constantly hug, climb, or touch a parent who has a low tolerance for touch.

• A parent who enjoys high-energy activities (like swinging or running) may struggle with a child who is fearful of movement and avoids vestibular input.

Strategies For Managing Opposite Sensory Needs

1. Self-Awareness and Planning

Before addressing sensory challenges, take time to reflect on your own sensory preferences. Consider keeping a simple journal of moments when you feel overwhelmed or under-stimulated. 

Recognizing these patterns can help you plan ahead for potential conflicts.

2. Create a Sensory Inventory

Make a list of your and your child’s sensory preferences to identify the sensory input each of you seeks or avoids. Writing these down can help highlight specific areas of conflict and guide your approach to regulation.

3. Develop Personal Sensory Strategies

For parents or caregivers who feel overwhelmed by their child’s sensory seeking behaviors, having a personal sensory toolkit is essential. Consider these strategies:

• For auditory sensitivity: Use noise-canceling headphones or play calming background music to drown out overwhelming sounds.

• For tactile sensitivity: Set boundaries around physical contact while still meeting your child’s sensory needs through weighted blankets, fidget toys, or deep-pressure activities.

• For vestibular or movement differences: If your child avoids movement, introduce small, predictable vestibular activities. If you seek movement but your child avoids it, find alternative ways to get your input without overwhelming them (e.g., working out separately).

4. Use Proactive Sensory Tools

Proactive sensory regulation can prevent conflicts before they arise. Some helpful tools include:

• Visual schedules to help prepare for sensory-heavy moments (e.g., playtime, bath time, bedtime).

• Quiet spaces are where either the parent or child can retreat to regulate their sensory system.

• Compromise strategies like setting designated loud times or using sensory-friendly headphones.

5. Prioritize Self-Care as a Parent

Parents must also recognize their own sensory needs.

• Take mindful breaks, even if it's just for a few minutes, to reset your nervous system.

• Use grounding techniques such as leaning against a wall to provide deep pressure and regain composure without leaving your child’s side.

• Practice mindfulness and deep breathing, particularly during high-stress times like late afternoons and evenings.

• Create a personal sensory diet by integrating sensory-friendly routines into your day.

6. Open Communication and Modeling

If your child is old enough, have open discussions about sensory preferences. Use simple language like:

• "I feel overwhelmed when it’s too loud, so I’m going to wear my headphones."

• "I see you love hugs! I need a little space right now, but let’s do a squeeze hug later."

Modeling how to regulate your own sensory system will teach your child self-awareness and self-regulation skills.

7. Establish a Predictable Routine

Parents and children alike benefit from structured routines that incorporate sensory regulation.

• Set consistent wake-up, meal, and bedtime schedules to minimize unpredictability.

• Include calming sensory activities, such as dimming lights in the evening, using weighted blankets, or engaging in deep-pressure play before bed.

• Ensure both you and your child have scheduled time to regulate your sensory needs.

8. Seek Support and Build a Community

It’s essential to surround yourself with people who understand sensory processing challenges.

• Share your experiences with other parents, caregivers, or professionals who have similar struggles.

• If you have a partner, communicate your sensory needs clearly and work together to manage conflicts.

• Look for online forums, podcasts, and community groups dedicated to sensory processing and parenting.

Final Thoughts

Opposite sensory needs between parents and children can create tension, but with awareness, communication, and proactive strategies, you can create a balanced sensory-friendly environment. By understanding and respecting each other's needs, both you and your child can thrive.

BORING, BUT NECESSARY LEGAL DISCLAIMERS

While we make every effort to share correct information, we are still learning. We will double check all of our facts but realize that medicine is a constantly changing science and art. One doctor / therapist may have a different way of doing things from another. We are simply presenting our views and opinions on how to address common sensory challenges, health related difficulties and what we have found to be beneficial that will be as evidenced based as possible. By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or your children. Consult your child’s pediatrician/ therapist for any medical issues that he or she may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast. Under no circumstances shall Rachel Harrington, Harkla, Jessica Hill, or any guests or contributors to the podcast, as well as any employees, associates, or affiliates of Harkla, be responsible for damages arising from use of the podcast.

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