Haircuts can be challenging, even for those who don’t have sensory processing challenges!
From prepping kiddos for the overstimulating environment of the salon to taking along some preferred sensory activities to help them override the noxious stimuli of light touch or vibrating clippers, there are so many ways to make this process a bit easier. One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is teaching parents, caregivers, and therapists how to communicate with and support the child through what can be a very scary experience.
While a lot of it has to do with these great sensory activities and strategies, a lot of it has to do with your emotions throughout this process too.
Tune in today to learn more about the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol, therapeutic listening programs, and the benefits of Harkla’s weighted products, plus a whole lot more!
We start with why kids struggle with haircuts, starting with not knowing what to expect.
Why salons can be overstimulating environments.
Tactile processing challenges and the real fear and pain that can come with them.
How tools like the clippers can be difficult for kiddos with auditory processing challenges.
The importance of having empathy; put yourself in your child’s shoes.
The chemical reaction that happens during a fight, flight, or freeze response.
How you can prepare your kiddo for these challenging sensory experiences; tour the salon beforehand or practice at home.
Learn how the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol can help with tactile processing challenges.
The benefits of noise cancelling headphones, therapeutic listening programs, and metronome activities for auditory processing.
Some strategies that can form part of a ‘haircut sensory diet’, like a vibrating hairbrush.
Some preferred sensory activities that help override the noxious stimuli of the haircut.
Think about creating a special hair-cutting sensory box that your kiddo can pick from.
Remember, it’s always an option to do haircuts at home!
The importance of staying positive and being a calm source of energy for your child.
“If you think about a salon, they can be pretty overstimulating. There's a lot of new visual input. There's a lot of olfactory input, typically, from all the different smells of the products. There's a lot of noise as well.” — Jessica Hill[0:01:47]
“[Haircuts are] hard for us typical adults. If it's hard for us, it's definitely going to be a lot more challenging for a sensory kiddo.” — Rachel Harrington[0:04:05]
“One of the tools that we love to help desensitize is using the deep pressure proprioceptive touch protocol, or the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol.” — Rachel Harrington[0:11:41]
“Avoid telling your child how hard it's going to be. You want to stay positive. You are a calm source of energy for your child – or you can be, so do it!” — Jessica Hill[0:19:14]
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[00:00:01] JH: Hey, there. I’m Rachel.
[00:00:02] RH: I’m Jessica. This is All Things Sensory by Harkla. Together, we’re on a mission to help children, families, therapists, and educators live happy, healthy lives.
[00:00:11] JH: We dive into All Things Sensory, special needs, occupational therapy, parenting, self-care, and so much more. In each episode, we share raw, honest, fun ideas, and strategies for everyone to implement into daily life.
[00:00:25] RH: Thank you so much for joining us.
[00:00:31] RH: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of All Things Sensory by Harkla. You're listening to Rachel and Jessica, and this is episode 169.
[00:00:39] JH: Today, we are going to talk about haircuts, because we get so many questions from parents and therapists whose children and clients are struggling with haircuts.
[00:00:49] RH: I will tell you, my husband struggles with haircuts.
[00:00:52] JH: Oh, no. A road trip is going to start a haircut.
[00:00:55] RH: I know. He hasn't had his first haircut yet. We'll see how it goes.
[00:00:58] JH: Oh, man.
[00:00:59] RH: We'll talk about those struggles in a little bit. First things first, let's talk about the why. Why do you think these kids struggle with getting their hair cut?
[00:01:09] JH: Right. We always have to identify the reason behind the challenge, because otherwise, we can't target our strategies.
[00:01:18] RH: The first underlying reason as to why they might struggle with getting a haircut is they don't know what to expect. It's a new event. It doesn't happen very often, and the child doesn't know what to expect. They don't know why they're getting their hair cut off, and so they might be scared.
[00:01:35] JH: This is especially true for that first haircut, and especially if you're going to a salon, or somebody else's house, that maybe they're not familiar with the environment. If you think about a salon, they can be pretty overstimulating. There's a lot of new visual input. There's a lot of olfactory input, typically, from all the different smells of the products. There's a lot of noise as well.
[00:02:02] RH: Yes. It's unexpected. It's different. It's overstimulating. There's a lot going on.
[00:02:08] JH: Then, even if you're just doing a haircut at your house, if your child has never seen a haircut, if they've never experienced clippers, then they're going to be nervous, and they don't know what's going to happen. They can't see what it’s going to look like.
[00:02:25] RH: The end result.
[00:02:26] JH: They can't predict the future.
[00:02:28] RH: They don't know what it's going to feel like, when it's touching – I mean, it's scary, though. These scissors and razors and noises that are coming at their face.
[00:02:37] JH: Coming at their face.
[00:02:39] RH: Yeah. It's like a big, old buzzing bug, that’s just “Bzzz.”
[00:02:43] JH: It’s loud.
[00:02:44] RH: Yeah, okay. The next thing is tactile processing challenges. We've talked about the tactile system before. That is your receptors on your skin and your mouth, on your head, obviously. There's a lot of tactile input going on during haircut.
[00:03:00] JH: Especially when you use clippers, because you're going to get that vibration against your skull, or at least pretty close.
[00:03:10] RH:These are words that we're using.
[00:03:11] JH: They don’t know.
[00:03:14] RH: We make it sound like it is such a scary experience.
[00:03:16] JH: It really is for these kids, who go into these haircuts and they have a fight or flight reaction. They are in real fear. Then, our kids who struggle with tactile processing, they might actually feel real pain during these haircuts.
[00:03:34] RH: Yes. Now, the thing that Daniel struggles with and I know a lot of kiddos struggle with this, too, is the hair on the back of their neck, that goes down their skin. That light touch so noxious, and so uncomfortable and hard to process. You also have the apron that's tied around your neck. You have the towel.
[00:03:52] JH: I hate the –
[00:03:54] RH: When it’s tight. Yeah, I don't like it either.
[00:03:56] JH: I hate that.
[00:03:57] RH: Yeah. Clearly, I mean, we have pretty typical developing sensory systems.
You're a little bit more regulated than I am.
[00:04:02] JH: Just more integrated at some things.
[00:04:04] RH: Yeah. It's hard for us typical adults. If it's hard for us, it's definitely going to be a lot more challenging for a sensory kiddo.
[00:04:12] JH: For sure. I think, the next reason that a child might struggle with haircuts is the auditory component. A child who struggles with auditory processing, it might be too loud, just in the overall environment with all of the talking and all of the noises. Also, if you're using clippers, there's a lot of sound that's coming at you, coming at your ears.
[00:04:34] RH: Coming at your skull. Another reason is, maybe the child had one negative experience one time, and they remember that terrible experience. Maybe the person cutting the hair accidentally sprayed them in the face with the water bottle, and maybe they –
[00:04:53] JH: Oh, that’s happened to me.
[00:04:55] RH: Oh, no.
[00:04:56] JH: I was like, “Thanks.”
[00:04:57] RH: Thank you for that. Yeah. Maybe they accidentally nicked your ear or something. They have one bad moment, one bad experience, and they remember that and they struggle with that flexible thinking to know, “Oh, maybe it will be different next time.” That's a hard thing for these kiddos to process.
[00:05:16] JH: Another reason that your child might struggle is that they have decreased attention, to be able to sit still, for the amount of time that it takes for a haircut. Now, some children, it doesn't really take very long. Sometimes our kids really truly cannot sit still for, even just a couple of minutes.
[00:05:36] RH: Yeah. We mentioned this earlier, but we want to talk more about overstimulation at the salon, at your house, friend's house, wherever your kiddo is getting their hair cut, there is new noises, new smells, new sights, new feelings, new textures. There's a lot of new sensory input to modulate. If your kiddo struggles with modulation at all, then they are going to struggle with getting their hair cut.
[00:06:04] JH: Raise your hand if any of that sounds like your child, or if you're a therapist, and you have a client, sounds like your client.
[00:06:12] RH: Or you.
[00:06:13] JH: Or you. Yes. The first thing that we have to do is have empathy.
[00:06:22] RH: Shocker.
[00:06:23] JH: We talk about this all the time.
[00:06:25] RH: We do.
[00:06:26] JH: If this is the first episode you've ever listened to from us, you're – you're going to listen to more episodes, you're going to hear us talk about this a lot. You have to have empathy to realize that this is a real, true struggle. Put yourself in your child's shoes, to just feel for them.
[00:06:44] RH: Yeah. Just a quick overview, sensory processing challenges, it affects your nervous system, and those messages that are going to your brain through your eight senses, they're like getting in a traffic jam. They aren't going efficiently and moving efficiently to where they need to be. That's why we have these kiddos who are over-responsive to sensory input and under responsive to sensory input, and who also seek the sensory input. We have to empathize with them.
[00:07:12] JH: Even just to play off that just a little bit more when you experience that fight, flight, or freeze moment, there's an actual chemical reaction happening in your body. That causes so many challenges.
[00:07:28] RH: Yeah. No, I'm just glad you brought that up, because it does. It puts these kiddos in fight or flight. There's a lot happening chemically inside. I love it. Okay, I just repeated what you said. There you go.
[00:07:38] JH: Yeah. These are so important.
[00:07:40] RH: Okay. Next thing, we need to expose our children to these challenging experiences more.
[00:07:51] JH: Well, and beforehand.
[00:07:53] RH: Before, more often, we need them to be prepared for what's expected. Go on a tour of the salon. Go on a video tour. Practice at home. Make your own studio. Roleplay.
[00:08:08] JH: Yeah. Give your child exposure to the tools that will be used during the haircut experience. Let them hold the clippers and turn them on and off. Of course, you're there safely with them. We're not saying just give your child clippers to run around the house. Please, don't do that.
[00:08:23] RH: No, just give them scissors to do that way.
[00:08:25] JH: Oh, my God.
[00:08:26] RH: Just kidding. Don't do that. Don't do that.
[00:08:27] JH: Please don’t sue us. Give them the exposure to the materials that are going to be used, watch videos of people getting their hair cut.
[00:08:37] RH: Good idea.
[00:08:38] JH: I like the idea of going on a tour of the salon, or the shop that you're going to be going to. Call them up and say, “Hey, my child has never had a haircut before,” or “They've only had a haircut once or twice, and it was really hard. Can we come meet you? Can we come have a tour? Can we sit and just watch?”
[00:08:55] JH: We just want to take a minute and talk to you about our company, Harkla. Our mission at Harkla is to help those with special needs live happy, healthy lives. Not only do we accomplish this through the podcast, but we also have therapy products, easy-to-follow digital courses and the Harkla Sensory Club, to try to bring holistic care to you and your family.
[00:09:13] RH: Listeners of the All Things Sensory Podcast get 10 percent off their first purchase at Harkla, with the discount code Sensory. We'd recommend checking out some of our bestsellers, like the compression sensory swing, weighted blankets, or our course on sensory diets.
[00:09:28] JH: Here's the best part. One percent of each sale gets donated to the University of Washington Autism Center to support autism research and fund scholarships to families in need to receive in-clinic therapy for their child.
[00:09:40] RH: Learn more about Harkla, and all we have to offer at harkla.co. That's H-A-R-K-L-A.C-O. Don't forget to use the discount code Sensory to get 10 percent off your first purchase. That's S-E-N-S-O-R-Y for 10 percent off.
[00:10:02] JH: The best part is all Harkla orders come with a lifetime guarantee and free shipping.
[00:10:09] RH: You really can't beat that.
[00:10:10] JH: No. You can’t.
[00:10:12] RH: Okay, let's get back to the show.
[00:10:15] RH: Here's a thought, I was talking to my friend whose kiddo, two-year-old is going to the dentist for the first time. She's like, “I'm so nervous. I don't know what's expected. He's not going to let them clean his teeth.” Why isn't the same experience of the prepping, and just feeling the materials, and going in and just exposing them. Why do people do such a good job with the dentist, but why don't people do that for getting their hair cut?
[00:10:39] JH: I don’t know.
[00:10:40] RH: Just because they're going in their mouth, they're going on their head and their hair. The same idea. Same concept.
[00:10:45] JH: I want to play off of that just a little bit, too. This is a little bit off topic, but I think we have to also stop putting our children in boxes and saying, “Oh, my child is not going to be able to do that. My child is going to hate this. My child is going to this, this, and this.” Especially if you're saying it around your child, they're going to hear you. You're giving them an expectation of how they're going to react, instead of giving them a chance to react in whatever way they're going to react. Do you know what I mean?
[00:11:16] RH: Yeah. On their own. I'm so glad you brought that up.
[00:11:18] JH: Especially, if you feel anxious taking them to get a haircut, or the dentist, if you feel anxious, your child is going to feed off of your anxiety. You need to work around that too.
[00:11:31] RH: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really glad you brought that up. That's so important.
[00:11:38] JH: Okay, moving on.
[00:11:39] RH: Let's move on to tactile processing. One of the tools that we love to help desensitize is using the deep pressure proprioceptive touch protocol, or the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol. Now, we recommend you, if you are a parent of a sensory kiddo, to find an OT who is trained in this, who can teach you how to do it yourself with your kiddo. The brushing protocol has to be done in a very specific manner, specific timeframe. You want to make sure that you're doing it safely and efficiently.
[00:12:10] JH: If you're a therapist, seek out somebody else who is trained, who could train you. We do not recommend looking on YouTube for videos, because there's just a lot of misinformation out there. Get an actual training to do this. I think for tactile processing, just doing more tactile activities. We're talking about specifically, haircuts, so maybe doing more vibration to the upper body, and if your child will tolerate vibration on their head, doing more messy play activities, just more tactile processing activities to help that tactile system.
[00:12:52] RH: Yup, absolutely. All right, let's talk about auditory processing. A couple of things that you can try are noise cancelling headphones, or earbuds, noise cancelling earbuds, which some kiddos love them, some kiddos hate them, but it's worth a shot.
[00:13:07] JH: Worth a try.
[00:13:07] RH: Then the listening program.
[00:13:09] JH: Oh, we do like the listening program. We're going to link it for you in the show notes.
[00:13:13] RH: Yes. Really, any therapeutic listening program will suffice. That's just the one that we use most often and we're most comfortable with and we see great results. That is really diving into the challenge at the root of the cause. It's an exercise program for your brain. It helps with that sensory processing and modulation.
[00:13:35] JH: Then, just any auditory activity that you can do to help the auditory processing system work better, we do have an episode on auditory. You can go listen to that for some ideas. Metronome is really great to work on auditory processing, so do some metronome activities.
[00:13:54] RH: Yeah. Next one, weighted vests and weighted blankets, or lap pads during the haircut.
[00:14:00] JH: Yes, we're going to link our favorites, which is Harkla weighted products. Those are really simple things that you can take with you to the salon, or the shop, or have at home to use it during the haircut experience.
[00:14:15] RH: Yeah. Another one, are doing some preparatory strategies before the haircut. We like to prep the nervous system, prep the brain, prep the body for this challenging sensory experience to occur.
[00:14:29] JH: Should we call it a sensory diet? A haircut sensory diet?
[00:14:32] RH: Yeah. Maybe we need to make one of those.
[00:14:33] JH: Should we make a haircut sensory diet freebie to go with this episode?
[00:14:36] RH: Let's do it.
[00:14:37] JH: Okay. Let's do it.
[00:14:38] RH: Write it down. A couple of strategies that we love are using a vibrating hairbrush, or like Jessica mentioned earlier, just using vibration to begin with. A wire head massager if you’ve seen those. They look like whisks. They look like whisks and you rub that over their head.
[00:14:53] JH: Oh, those are the best. Oh, my gosh.
[00:14:56] RH: Those are great.
[00:14:57] JH: If you have a kiddo who seeks input, like a seeker –
[00:15:01] RH: Oh, my gosh, I got to find that.
[00:15:02] JH: Love it. If you have an avoider, which I think most kids who don't like haircuts are probably avoiders. This is going to be a little bit more challenging. Experiment with it. Let them play with it. Let them do it to you. Let them use the mirror while you're doing it, because it's going to be a little bit more challenging for them.
[00:15:21] RH: Yes. In addition, a scalp massage. Using your fingers, using one of those plastic – I have one. It's like a scalp massager that you rub on your head when you're washing your hair, in case you know. Something like that. Heavy work will give you that proprioceptive input to help regulate the nervous system. Then, we love vibration, like a vibrating homedics ball to hold during the haircut.
[00:15:47] JH: Having just any fidget during the haircut would help, especially for our kiddos who struggle with attention. Those kids who can't sit still for very long, heavy work and then fidgets are going to be great tools to use during the haircut.
[00:16:02] RH: All right, let's talk about some preferred sensory activities that help override the noxious stimuli of the haircut.
[00:16:11] JH: Let's preface this by saying me, if you're going to a salon, or a shop, talk to them beforehand and let them know, “Hey, my child struggles with haircuts, so we're going to bring in some tools and activities for them to use during the hair cutting process. Are you good with that?”
[00:16:28] RH: Definitely.
[00:16:29] JH: I think, preparing the salon to know what’s coming would be helpful.
[00:16:34] RH: Also, don't call them and say, “My child hates haircuts. It's going to be a disaster. It's going to be a mess. I'm so nervous.” Just say, “Hey, we're going to bring some extra tools, help my kiddo.” Make sure your kiddo isn't hearing you stress out about it.
[00:16:48] JH: Right. I think, yeah. It's all about the way you phrase it. We've been talking about that a lot on how we talk to our kids even. If they are within earshot while you're having this conversation, phrasing it another way, so it's not negative. Something along the lines of, “Hey, we're going to bring these three things with us to make the haircutting experience a positive one.” I think, as simple as that.
[00:17:11] RH: That’s it. Yeah.
[00:17:12] JH: That’s all you have to say. Okay, so what are these different activities?
[00:17:14] RH: Okay, blowing bubbles.
[00:17:16] JH: Okay. We love bubbles.
[00:17:20] RH: Yeah. Maybe the child's favorite music, their favorite essential oils. Like Jessica mentioned, fidgets, stress balls, things to hold on to and squeeze.
[00:17:29] JH: I think, anything that your child really, really loves. Maybe –
[00:17:32] RH: A security blanket.
[00:17:33] JH: A security blanket. Maybe your child can pick out a couple of things to take with you.
[00:17:38] RH: You have a special hair-cutting sensory box. Every time they get their haircut, they get to go to the special box of sensory tools, or preferred items, and they get to pick one to take with them. They don't get to play with those things during the normal business hours.
[00:17:54] JH: Nope. Only for a haircuts. Okay. Another strategy would be to do haircuts at home. This is always an option. Even if you've never done a haircut before, it's still an option. You can do it, or maybe you have a friend that can help you, because they are experienced with haircuts and they can come to your house to do it. It just provides a more secure, relaxed environment.
[00:18:22] RH: I watched a YouTube video on how to cut Daniel's hair during quarantine. I still cut it. Not well, but it's cut. The beauty of that is he can go hop in the shower right after the haircut is done and get all the hair off of his back and his neck.
[00:18:38] JH: That is another great strategy is, as soon as that haircut’s done, you get in the shower, or the bath and wash off all that light touch from the hair. You do some deep massage and vibration to help take away that feeling of that, like touch this, overstimulate.
[00:18:55] RH: Yeah, grab some lotion, do a massage, get that deep pressure, organize the nervous system again, and then do something fun. Go on a walk, get outside, be with nature.
[00:19:04] JH: Yeah, get outside. Yes. Because we all know that being outside is probably one of the most grounding things you can do.
[00:19:11] RH: Yes. I love it.
[00:19:12] JH: We've already talked about this a couple of times, but avoid telling your child how hard it's going to be. You want to stay positive. You are a calm source of energy for your child, or you can be, so do it.
[00:19:27] RH: Yeah. I think, this could be one of the biggest takeaways from this episode is not only the great sensory strategies that we provided, but also, teaching parents and caregivers and therapists how to just be when it comes to haircuts. How to communicate to the child and how to support the child and make the child feel supported. A lot of it has to do with these great sensory activities and these strategies, but also a lot of it has to do with your emotions and support throughout this process, too.
[00:20:02] JH: Yup. It's all how you talk, the energy you put off. We’re getting deep.
[00:20:07] RH: I know.
[00:20:07] JH: Every episode that we do more of, we’re like, “And the energy you have is the most important thing.”
[00:20:15] RH: We've got our crystals here with us.
[00:20:17] JH: We don’t.
[00:20:19] RH: Just kidding.
[00:20:20] JH: We’re burning some incense and sage.
[00:20:22] RH: Seriously, no judgment if you do do that. No. No.
[00:20:26] JH: Not at all. I love incense, actually.
[00:20:27] RH: Oh, I know. Okay. We're all off topic. We hope this episode was helpful. If it was, give us a shout out on Instagram @allthingssensorypodcast, or @harkla_family. Leave us a review.
[00:20:41] JH: Let us know if you've tried some of these strategies, if they work, if they don't work, what have you tried that's been helpful? Haircuts can be challenging, but there are ways to make it easier.
[00:20:55] RH: Yes. Okay, with that, we will chat with you all next week.
[00:20:57] JH: Okay, thanks. Bye.
[END OF EPISODE]
[00:20:59] JH: Thank you so much for listening to All Things Sensory by Harkla. If you want more information on anything we mentioned in the show, head over to harkla.co/podcast to get all of the show notes.
[00:21:11] RH: We always have the show notes and links, plus full transcripts to make following along as easy as possible for everyone.
If you have follow-up questions, the best place to ask those is in the comments on the show notes, or message us on our Instagram account, which is @harkla_family. If you just search Harkla, you'll find us.
[00:21:31] JH: Like we mentioned before, our podcast listeners get 10 percent off their first order at Harkla. Whether it's for one of our digital courses, one of our sensory swings, the discount code SENSORY, will save you 10 percent. That code is S-E-N-S-O-R-Y. Head over to harkla.co/sensory to use that code right now, so you don't forget.
[00:21:54] RH: We're so excited to work together to help create confident kids all over the world and work towards a happier, healthier life.
[00:22:00] JH: All right. We'll talk to you guys next week.
[00:22:04] JH: Just a friendly reminder, this is general information related to occupational therapy, pediatrics, and sensory integration. We do not know you, or your child. Therefore, we do not know any specific needs. Therefore, you should always refer back to your pediatrician and occupational therapist for more information.
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While we make every effort to share correct information, we are still learning. We will double check all of our facts but realize that medicine is a constantly changing science and art. One doctor / therapist may have a different way of doing things from another. We are simply presenting our views and opinions on how to address common sensory challenges, health related difficulties and what we have found to be beneficial that will be as evidenced based as possible. By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or your children. Consult your child’s pediatrician/ therapist for any medical issues that he or she may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast. Under no circumstances shall Rachel Harrington, Harkla, Jessica Hill, or any guests or contributors to the podcast, as well as any employees, associates, or affiliates of Harkla, be responsible for damages arising from use of the podcast.
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