#221 - Is Your Child Aggressive? Try These Sensory Strategies!

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Is Your Child Aggressive? Try These Sensory Strategies!

We are your podcast DJs! We had a question from someone on Instagram asking about strategies for a child who becomes aggressive towards themselves and others when they are in a meltdown. 

We dive into the WHY behind aggressive behaviors and chat about some strategies you can try. 

We’d love your feedback! Share this episode on Instagram, tag us @allthingsensorypodcast, and let us know your thoughts! 

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Ep 88 - Is It Sensory or Behavior? 

Ep 93 - Self-Injurious Behaviors with Danielle 

Build a Sensory Corner YouTube Video

Sensational Brain Webinar - Self-Injurious Behaviors 

Is Your Child Aggressive? Try These Sensory Strategies!

Aggression in children can be overwhelming and emotionally exhausting, especially if it comes in the form of hitting, biting, or even self-harming behaviors. As a parent, teacher, or therapist, it can be hard to know what to do in those intense moments. 

However, with the right strategies and sensory tools, it's possible to guide children toward calmer, more constructive behaviors. We’ll break down the different types of aggressive behaviors, explore common triggers, and give you practical tips to help children regulate their emotions.

Common Types Of Aggressive Behaviors In Children

Aggressive behaviors can vary widely depending on the child and the situation. Let’s take a closer look at three common forms:

1. Self-Injurious Behavior

These are actions where a child hurts themselves. Examples include:

• Biting themselves

• Head-banging against floors or walls

• Pulling their hair

• Pinching or hitting themselves

2. Aggression Towards Others

This type of behavior is directed at other people and may include:

• Hitting, kicking, or biting

• Pulling hair

• Pinching or spitting at others

3. Generalized Aggression

Some children may not target themselves or others but instead express aggression by:

• Yelling

• Throwing or breaking objects

• Engaging in destructive behaviors

Understanding what form the aggression takes is important for identifying the best strategies to manage it effectively.

Why Do Children Become Aggressive?

Children often become aggressive because they don't yet have the tools to express their needs, frustrations, or sensory challenges in an appropriate way. Here are some common causes:

1. Sensory Overload

When a child’s sensory system becomes overwhelmed—perhaps due to loud noises, bright lights, or unexpected physical contact—their fight-or-flight response may be triggered. Aggression can be their way of coping with the discomfort.

2. Unmet Basic Needs

Children may act out when they are tired, hungry, thirsty, or uncomfortable. For example, a child who is too hot or has to use the bathroom may not recognize these needs or know how to communicate them, leading to outbursts.

3. Emotional Dysregulation

Some children struggle to regulate their emotions, especially when they’re frustrated, sad, or overstimulated. Without adequate coping mechanisms, they may lash out.

4. Attention-Seeking Behavior

For some children, past experiences may have taught them that aggressive behavior results in getting attention—whether positive or negative.

5. Excitement or Overstimulation

Interestingly, aggression can also stem from heightened excitement. A child may become so overstimulated that they express their excitement by hitting, shouting, or throwing objects.

Journaling To Identify Triggers And Patterns

Keeping a journal is one of the most effective ways to understand a child’s aggression. For a few days to a week, take notes on:

• What happened before the aggression (e.g., a noisy environment, another child taking a toy)

• What the aggressive behavior looked like

• How the situation resolved, or what happened after the behavior

Look for patterns. 

• Does the child always become aggressive in a certain place or at a specific time?

• Does it happen when they’re tired or when a particular sensory trigger is present? 

These insights can help you develop a plan to prevent or manage future outbursts.

Replacement Tools And Strategies

When a child exhibits aggressive behavior, it's essential to offer safe, sensory-appropriate alternatives. Here are examples based on different types of behavior:

1. For Biting

• Provide "chewies" such as chewable necklaces, bracelets, or zipper pulls.

• Explain what is expected by saying, "We don’t bite people. Here is something safe to bite instead."

2. For Head-Banging

• Offer proprioceptive input through deep pressure (e.g., using a swim cap or head massage).

• Provide full-body deep pressure, such as a bear hug or compression with a weighted blanket.

3. For Throwing Objects

• Remove small, unsafe items from the environment.

• Create a safe space with crash pads or a sensory corner where they can throw soft items.

• Use sensory tools like a Harkla Hug or body sock to provide calming input.

Co-Regulation: Staying Calm In The Moment

Children often mirror the emotional states of the adults around them. If you can remain calm during an aggressive episode, you help the child regulate their own emotions.

Here are some helpful phrases to use:

• "Let me know when you’re ready."

• "Please don’t hurt my friend. I don’t want to play if you’re going to hurt me." (Then walk away if it’s safe to do so.)

• "Your body is telling me you need to bite something. Here is a safe option."

If the behavior is attention-seeking, avoid giving immediate attention. Instead, calmly guide the child to a safe space and let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready.

Sensory Strategies To Try In The Moment

Depending on the child’s needs, the following sensory strategies can help them regulate during aggressive episodes:

1. Proprioceptive Input

• Deep pressure through hugs, weighted blankets, or compression clothing.

• Joint compressions or squeezing the hands together.

2. Oral Motor Input

• Chewing on safe sensory tools like ARK Therapeutic chewies or bite-and-vibrate teethers.

3. Vibration

• Applying a vibrating tool to the jaw, chin, or head (if the child tolerates it).

4. Movement-Based Regulation

• Medicine ball slams (with a designated target).

• Jumping or pushing activities.

Practicing Strategies Ahead of Time

For sensory strategies to work during a meltdown, it’s important to practice them when the child is calm and happy. Help them understand their triggers by saying things like:

"Sometimes, when you get mad, you throw things. Let’s practice what you can do instead."

Repetition and preparation will increase the chances that the child will use the strategies when they need them most.

Remember: Kids Do Well If They Can

Children don’t want to be aggressive. They don’t want to hurt others, themselves or get into trouble. 

Often, their behavior is a sign that they need help understanding their emotions or sensory needs. When we approach these situations with patience, empathy, and a calm presence, we create an environment where positive changes are possible.

BORING, BUT NECESSARY LEGAL DISCLAIMERS

While we make every effort to share correct information, we are still learning. We will double check all of our facts but realize that medicine is a constantly changing science and art. One doctor / therapist may have a different way of doing things from another. We are simply presenting our views and opinions on how to address common sensory challenges, health related difficulties and what we have found to be beneficial that will be as evidenced based as possible. By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or your children. Consult your child’s pediatrician/ therapist for any medical issues that he or she may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast. Under no circumstances shall Rachel Harrington, Harkla, Jessica Hill, or any guests or contributors to the podcast, as well as any employees, associates, or affiliates of Harkla, be responsible for damages arising from use of the podcast.

Keep in mind that we may receive commissions when you click our links and make purchases. However, this does not impact our reviews and comparisons. We try our best to keep things fair and balanced, in order to help you make the best choice for you.

This podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast.