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Making friends can be hard, and for neurodivergent kids, the path to connection often looks a little different. This episode was inspired by a question from Instagram and dives into practical, compassionate ways to support social connection without forcing kids to fit into a mold that doesn’t work for them.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why friendship can be more challenging for neurodivergent kids
How sensory processing, executive function, and communication impact social skills
Why quality of connection matters more than the number of friends
OT-informed strategies to support social interaction in safe, structured ways
How to build friendships by leaning into a child’s strengths and interests
Thanks for listening 🩷
If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with a parent or therapist supporting a neurodivergent child.
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All Things Sensory Podcast Instagram
For many parents and professionals supporting neurodivergent children, one of the biggest hopes is that their child will experience meaningful friendships. But for kids with sensory processing challenges, autism, ADHD, or communication differences, making and keeping friends isn’t always easy.
We’ve seen firsthand how neurodivergent children can build friendships with the right support, strategies, and opportunities tailored to their strengths. Let’s explore how we can create safe, empowering environments where neurodivergent kids thrive socially.
While the desire for friendship is often present, thepath to connection may look different for children with:
Autism.
Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).
ADHD.
Communication delays or differences.
Retained primitive reflexes.
Here are a few common barriers:
Social cognition challenges – Difficulty with turn-taking, reading body language, or understanding social norms can make peer interactions confusing.
Sensory sensitivities – Overwhelming environments (loud, bright, crowded) can cause shutdowns or meltdowns.
Executive function differences – Kids may struggle with attention, flexible thinking, emotional regulation, or remembering game rules.
Communication differences – Non-speaking or preverbal kids, those using AAC devices, or those with hyperverbal tendencies may face barriers in typical social scripts.
The result? Many children retreat into solo play where they feel more in control. And that’s okay, but with the right tools, we can help open doors to meaningful social opportunities.
A helpful mindset shift:Friendship doesn’t need to mean having a large group of friends.
For some kids,one close connection can be life-changing. The goal is to help children build relationships in a way that honors their individuality, comfort level, and communication style.
Here’s how parents, therapists, and educators can support social growth in neurodivergent children starting where they are.
Social connection is easier when it centers around something the childloves.
A Lego-loving child might enjoy inviting a peer to build together.
A Minecraft enthusiast can set up a virtual obstacle course to explore with a friend.
A sensory-seeking child might bond through movement-based play like obstacle courses or swinging.
By building playdates and group activities around existing interests, children are more likely to engage—and enjoy themselves.
OT Tip: Ask your child or client:“What do you like doing that you’d want to share with a friend?”
Open-ended play can be overwhelming. Instead, try:
Board games with turn-taking cues.
Obstacle courses (great for movement-based learners).
Cooking or craft projects with defined steps and natural opportunities for collaboration.
Building challenges using blocks or magnetic tiles.
These activities providepredictable structure, and when an adult is nearby to offer gentle guidance (e.g., prompting a social script or helping resolve conflict), children feel safer exploring social skills.
Before social outings, set kids up for success with:
Visual schedules of what will happen.
Social stories about how to enter play, take turns, or ask for help.
Role-playing common scenarios (e.g., “What can you say if a friend takes your toy?”).
This helps build predictability and confidence.
Many neurodivergent kids are visual learners. Support them with:
Visual cues of expected behaviors (“First say hi, then ask to play”).
Photos of peers or the play location.
Accessible sensory tools, like:
Noise-reducing headphones.
Fidget items.
Compression clothing.
Chewing gum or crunchy snacks.
Make sure basic needs (food, hydration, restroom breaks) are also met before social events to reduce overwhelm.
One powerful way to build social confidence is through peer groups in therapy settings.
Ask your child’s OT if they facilitate small social groups.
If your child sees another peer during their OT time, consider coordinating a playdate.
Therapists: Create after-school clubs around shared interests (e.g., Lego club, sensory exploration, mini chef club).
Open-gym style sessions can provide space for free play with gentle adult guidance.
Kids learn best when they feel safe—and when adults are present to scaffold the learning as it happens.
Friendship also includes knowing when to take a break. Teach your child to:
Use simple scripts like “I need a break” or “All done playing”.
End playdates respectfully (e.g., “Thanks for playing with me!”).
Recognize signs of sensory overload and have a plan for how to self-regulate.
This empowers kids to honor their own needs and builds self-awareness—critical components of healthy friendships.
Let your childbe the leader. Many neurodivergent children thrive when they have the chance to:
Teach a younger peer a skill they’ve mastered.
Lead a movement activity like a dance routine or obstacle course.
Serve as a helper in the clinic or classroom.
Mentorship builds self-esteem and reinforces social skills in a low-pressure context.
Whether a child said “hi” to a peer, took a turn, or tried a new activity—celebrate it.
Praise attempts, not just outcomes.
Offer specific, strength-based feedback (e.g., “I loved how you waited your turn”).
Keep building small wins over time.
Consistency, encouragement, and patience go a long way in helping friendships flourish.
With the right environment, tools, and support system, kids who struggle with friendship can grow into confident, socially connected individuals. Their path to connection might look different—but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful.
“It’s not that they don’t want friends—it’s that the path to connection looks different.”
Whether you’re a parent, therapist, or educator, your support matters. Keep showing up, keep modeling, and keep believing in the power of small steps.
BORING, BUT NECESSARY LEGAL DISCLAIMERS
While we make every effort to share correct information, we are still learning. We will double check all of our facts but realize that medicine is a constantly changing science & art. One doctor / therapist may have a different way of doing things from another. We are simply presenting our views & opinions on how to address common sensory challenges, health related difficulties & what we have found to be beneficial that will be as evidenced based as possible. By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or your children. Consult your child’s pediatrician/ therapist for any medical issues that he or she may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast. Under no circumstances shall Rachel Harrington, Harkla, Jessica Hill, or any guests or contributors to the podcast, as well as any employees, associates, or affiliates of Harkla, be responsible for damages arising from use of the podcast.
Keep in mind that we may receive commissions when you click our links & make purchases. However, this does not impact our reviews & comparisons. We try our best to keep things fair & balanced, in order to help you make the best choice for you.
This podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast.
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