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In today’s episode, I’m sharing something a little more personal. This conversation is all about ADHD in women and moms, why it’s so often missed, and what it can actually feel like in real life.
For so many of us, ADHD doesn’t look like what we were taught to expect. It’s not always the hyper, can’t-sit-still version we picture in young boys. For women, it often shows up as mental overload, constant overwhelm, emotional ups and downs, and feeling like we just can’t keep up no matter how hard we try. It gets labeled as anxiety, disorganization, or just being “too much,” and we carry that for years without realizing there might be more going on.
I share my own journey of starting to question things, what I experienced growing up versus now as a mom, and how masking, perfectionism, and overcompensating played a role in how I showed up. There were moments of relief, validation, and, honestly, a lot of emotion that came with finally understanding my brain in a different way.
I’ll also talk about how ADHD can show up in motherhood. The mental load, the constant juggling, the time blindness, the sensory overwhelm, and the emotional regulation challenges that can feel so intense. Motherhood has a way of bringing all of that to the surface in a way that’s hard to ignore.
But this episode isn’t just about the challenges. It’s also about reframing ADHD through a different lens. I talk about the strengths I now recognize in myself, like creativity, problem-solving, empathy, and the ability to hyperfocus. Letting go of unrealistic expectations and the “shoulds” has been a huge part of that process.
I also get into what support can actually look like. Things like creating systems that work for your brain, externalizing tasks instead of trying to hold everything mentally, using sensory strategies to regulate, and giving yourself permission to ask for help without guilt.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this me?” I want you to know that it’s okay to explore that question. You’re not broken, and you’re not failing. Understanding your brain can open the door to so much more compassion and support.
Thanks for listening 🩷
If this episode made you feel seen, share it with another mom who might need to hear this too.
We’d love to answer your questions on the podcast! Fill out this form - https://harkla.typeform.com/to/ItWxQNP3
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All Things Sensory Podcast Instagram
If you’ve ever thought,“Why does everything feel harder for me than it should?”—you are not alone. Many moms are navigating daily life feeling overwhelmed, disorganized, and mentally exhausted… without realizing that ADHD could be part of the picture.
And here’s the thing: ADHD in women—especially moms—often doesn’t look the way we expect. It’s not always hyperactivity or bouncing off the walls; instead, it can show up as mental overload, emotional exhaustion, and difficulty managing everyday tasks.
Let’s break this down in a way that makes sense—and more importantly, gives you real, actionable strategies to move forward.
When most people think of ADHD, they picture a young child who can’t sit still or focus in school. But in women, ADHD often looks very different.
Instead of physical hyperactivity, many women experience:
Constant mental chatter (“47 tabs open” in the brain).
Overwhelm with daily responsibilities.
Difficulty starting or finishing tasks.
Emotional ups and downs.
Chronic disorganization (even if they appear “put together” on the outside).
Many women with ADHD appear highly capable and successful—but internally (or at home), things can feel chaotic and hard to manage .
Before becoming a mom, you might have been able to “keep up.”
You managed your schedule. You got things done. You functioned well enough.
But then motherhood added:
More responsibilities.
More planning and organization.
More emotional and sensory demands.
The need to “executive function” for multiple people.
And suddenly… things started to feel like they were falling apart. This is incredibly common.
Motherhood places a massive load on executive functioning skills—the exact area where ADHD brains tend to struggle.
If you’re wondering whether this resonates with you, here are some common signs many moms experience:
Constant racing thoughts.
Difficulty “turning off” your brain at night.
Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list.
Avoiding or procrastinating things like:
Paying bills.
Opening mail.
Packing lunches.
Starting projects but not finishing them
Running late (even with good intentions).
Underestimating how long tasks take.
Feeling easily overwhelmed.
Snapping or reacting more quickly than you’d like.
Feeling touched out, overstimulated, or “on edge.”
Especially at the end of the day.
Clutter building up quickly.
Difficulty maintaining systems.
Feeling like other moms have it together.
Wondering,“What’s wrong with me?”
If you’re nodding along to several of these—you’re not alone, and there are ways to help.
ADHD is not a lack of effort or motivation.
It’s related to differences in how the brain manages:
Dopamine (motivation and reward).
Executive functioning skills (planning, organizing, initiating tasks).
This is why simple, everyday tasks can feel disproportionately difficult. Understanding this is powerful—because it shifts the narrative from: “I’m failing” to “my brain works differently—and I need different strategies.”
Let’s focus on what you can do starting today.
Sleep directly impacts attention, emotional regulation, and executive functioning.
Why it matters: Poor sleep worsens ADHD symptoms.
Try this:
Keep a consistent bedtime routine.
Limit screens before bed.
Create a calming sensory environment (dim lights, quiet space).
Protein supports dopamine production, which is essential for focus and motivation.
Why it matters: Stable energy = better brain function.
Try this:
Add protein to every meal.
Keep easy options available (eggs, yogurt, protein shakes).
Exercise boosts dopamine and helps regulate the nervous system.
Why it matters: Movement can improve focus and reduce overwhelm.
Try this:
5–10 minutes in the morning:
Jumping jacks.
Squats.
A quick walk.
Natural light helps regulate your circadian rhythm and supports mood and focus.
Try this:
Step outside within 30–60 minutes of waking.
Even a few minutes makes a difference.
ADHD brains thrive with support—not isolation.
This could look like:
A partner helping with organization.
A visual schedule or checklist.
Delegating tasks when possible.
Having support from others with complementary strengths can make a significant difference .
You do not have to do everything.
In fact, trying to do everything is often what leads to burnout.
Try this:
Identify your top 3 priorities each day.
Let less important tasks wait.
While ADHD can make daily life harder, it also comes with strengths. Many women with ADHD are:
Highly creative
Empathetic and intuitive
Big-picture thinkers
Innovative problem-solvers
These strengths matter—especially in motherhood.
The goal isn’t to “fix” your brain. It’s to understand it, support it, and work with it.
If this resonates with you, consider:
Talking to your doctor or a psychologist.
Completing an ADHD screening checklist.
Working with a professional who understands ADHD in women.
Getting clarity can be incredibly validating—and empowering.
We understand how overwhelming this can feel—and how isolating it can be when things don’t seem to come easily. But here’s what we want you to remember:
You are not failing.
You are not alone.
And there are tools and strategies that can help.
Small, consistent changes can lead to meaningful transformation—for you and your family.
BORING, BUT NECESSARY LEGAL DISCLAIMERS
While we make every effort to share correct information, we are still learning. We will double check all of our facts but realize that medicine is a constantly changing science & art. One doctor / therapist may have a different way of doing things from another. We are simply presenting our views & opinions on how to address common sensory challenges, health related difficulties & what we have found to be beneficial that will be as evidenced based as possible. By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or your children. Consult your child’s pediatrician/ therapist for any medical issues that he or she may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast. Under no circumstances shall Rachel Harrington, Harkla, Jessica Hill, or any guests or contributors to the podcast, as well as any employees, associates, or affiliates of Harkla, be responsible for damages arising from use of the podcast.
Keep in mind that we may receive commissions when you click our links & make purchases. However, this does not impact our reviews & comparisons. We try our best to keep things fair & balanced, in order to help you make the best choice for you.
This podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast.
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